I’m sorry. You probably say that a lot — and you also hear other people say it frequently. But did you know it could really be hurting your reputation? If you’re saying sorry frequently, you might be undercutting the confidence that others have in you and your abilities. That’s because people who are constantly apologizing are often judged to be in the wrong or unsure of their thoughts, beliefs, and ideas. With that in mind, there are ways you can stop saying sorry so much, so you’re taken more seriously in work and personal relationships.
Why You Shouldn’t Always Be Saying Sorry
Apologizing Makes You Seem Insecure
When you say sorry frequently, you may come across as insecure or worried about how other people perceive you. That might also make you look timid, and if you’re trying to get a job, get a date, or do something else in life where confidence is important you might not be as successful as you hoped.
You Might Appear to Be Insincere
People don’t like being misled. When you keep apologizing, you may be perceived as someone who’s providing inaccurate information. Saying sorry could make you look guilty of misleading people. This could lead other people to feel like you’re insincere in the information you’re providing to them.
Saying Sorry Takes Away Your Power
You don’t have any power when you’re saying sorry all the time. People can perceive you as weak and uncomfortable, or as someone who’s not knowledgeable in your field. You don’t want to let that happen to you, especially if you’re trying to build your career or work your way into an industry that has a lot of competition. Being seen as powerful can be very important.
You Look Like You’re Seeking Validation
You don’t need permission to be who you are, but if you’re saying sorry people might think you’re looking for them to validate you and your worth. While it’s nice to be told you’re important, valuable, or anything else along those lines, you shouldn’t need to hear those things from others to see them in yourself. When you stop apologizing, you no long look to be seeking out validation from other people.
Backbone is Needed to Be a Leader
If you want to be a leader in your company, industry, home, or community, you need to show that you have backbone. You can’t do that very easily when you’re apologizing for everything all the time. Saying sorry could be undermining your chances to become a leader, or to move up into higher roles you might be interested in.
By reducing the times when you apologize you’ll have the opportunity to improve your reputation. That can help you get more work, change your career, find a relationship, gain community respect, or advance your life in other ways. You don’t have to settle for where you are in life. If you want more from your career and personal experiences, make sure you’re not accidentally holding yourself back.
About the Author: Michelle Dakota Beck has worked as a professional freelance writer since the 1990s. During that time she has written everything from product descriptions to full-length books. Her areas of specialization include real estate, home services, legal topics, relationships, family life, and mental health issues. You can find her on WriterAccess.